Here I am sitting before the screen for the last half an hour, however not working. Instead I am advising my friend on how to overcome the stress of her hectic schedule, not snap at people around and also be creative, all at the same time. Difficult na? And the advice is coming from me…that’s the joke. Because I myself, have been so muddled the last few days. The problem is that I want to do too many things. I love to paint, teach, meet and talk to inspiring people, want to be there for my child and spend time with her, learn Bharatnatyam (And I don’t even know the A B C of dance), love to write, am learning pottery, want to travel and explore, be a great cook, maintain my garden, keep my home spic and span (that’s a big challenge for me)….there’s just too much to do and half my life is over! So there is so little time. And I haven’t even found my calling!

Calling

/ˈkɔːlɪŋ/

noun

a strong urge towards a particular way of life or career; a vocation.

I wonder why is it that I can’t just be, happy that I have a good life. Maybe it’s because I am still working on my calling? Have you found yours? There must be something that calls to each one of our souls….what I can’t live without, may not even matter to you. And that’s the beauty of our life. Each one of us is so unique. I don’t think our mothers and grandmothers had the luxury to pursue their passion…many a times limited by society, family and their own circumstances. But even with those constraints, they did manage something.

Pic credit- Arun Subramaniam, budding photographer but a techie too.

My paternal grandmother was from a rich family but my grandfather had a business and it was not always great. My granny loved craft, knitting and weaving wires. She was creative to the core and found a unique solution to her problem. She would ask my neighbor to buy her the materials and would weave them beautiful bags. Though she didn’t get to take them, she had the satisfaction of doing something she loved (My kind neighbor gave me the bags after my Granny passed on). She was also an expert at desserts and different savories. Even today, 16 years after she passed on, the images that come to mind are of her sitting and frying malpuas, preparing murabbas( of star fruit, gooseberries) and my mom asking her to taste the pickle and see if it needs any adjustments in seasoning. I was reading this book ‘For She is the Tree of Life’ which is a compilation of memories, poems and stories by women writers on their grandmothers. With this book, my grandmothers have been on my mind for quite some time now. When it was time to plant saplings in the garden, I made sure there were one of gooseberry and one of star-fruit. Looks like I did get some genes from her after all. The murabba is out of this world…and just with equal measures of sugar and fruit. You have the best murabba in the world.

Then there’s my Mom who loves to sing and is a big fan of Mohammed Rafi. Now in her sixties, she is enjoying bhajans (Devotional songs), Rafi’s songs on YouTube and also singing as part of a Bhajan group. She hates going away from town as it means missing her singing classes. So I guess it’s never too late to start doing all that we love to do.

Though I haven’t been productive for the last two weeks, the coming few days I am going to make up for it and bring to you many such inspiring people. People who found their calling and changed tracks, talented people who made it big through the internet, people who are still looking for their calling….real people who are on a quest. The journey is as important, as the destination.

But off course, my problem remains! I love too many things…..

Lots of twinkles to all of you.

Anu.